You know I talk a lot about goals and dreams.
I want to get really raw here about why many of you are not, and will not, accomplish your goals and dreams this year. It’s the same reason you did not accomplish them the year before and the year before that.
Because you don’t believe in you…
Yes, I said it.
You don’t believe in you…
How do I know this about you?
I shared that same thought experience many of you are having. Your mindset and your programming is controlling your life and your success.
For many years I did not believe in me either, even after I became a coach; after I wrote my first book and it became a bestseller; after I landed my first paying customer; after I had my first hotel workshop.
There I was making progress on my dreams and goals and still did not believe in me.
I was watching others and the money they were making.
I was listening to others about what they were doing and how I should be doing that.
I was focused outward and on other’s results, not mine.
I was unhappy with my success, because I wasn’t looking at my success.
I was comparing…
We have been taught to compare and that habit of comparing keeps us from progressing.
And as long as I was comparing…
I couldn’t see the personal progress I had made in my thoughts, my habits and my emotions.
I couldn’t see all the women I was helping or even hear them tell me thank you.
I could not tell myself how badass I was.
When the comparing stopped and I decided to rock my Superpowers, work from my Super She and play in my Genius Zone, things changed.
I began to FEEL success; to KNOW success; and to BE success.
And so it will be with you…
Let me say that again, in 1950, Earl Nightingale, motivational speaker and author of The Strangest Secret, said “success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.”
Almost 70 years ago, that concept is still true.
Tony Robbins said the keys to success are 1) weathering the knocks and coming out stronger for them; and 2) recognizing your core values and adopting a lifestyle that aligns with those values.
Warren Buffett said the key to success is emotional stability and to feel like you’ve made a difference.
Why wasn’t I feeling successful? I was ignoring my progress, the ideals and values that were worthy for me, the hard knocks and emotional stability that had strengthened me, and the lives I was touching and how that touching was bringing about difference.
When the comparing stops you have a clearer vision of who you are, who you’ve become and what you’ve accomplished.
When the comparing stops you can see you and all your success, no matter how trivial it looks next to someone else’s, it’s YOURS.
When the comparing stops you can believe in you, because you are AWE-some.
So here is a great strategy from my book CEO Yourself, How Self-Talk Separates You from the Pack, pages 88-89.
Use this exercise to help you recognize, love yourself and speak your own greatness and success.
Complete the following sentences:
I am good at ________________________________
I have always been able to______________________
I love to____________________________________
People tell me I am___________________________
People come to me for help with________________
People always ask me about___________________
My family and friends love when I______________
My spouse loves my__________________________
I feel good when I____________________________
I love my___________________________________
I love my ability to___________________________
“Create your own sentences. When you have a full page of sentences like this, you will begin to see how wonderful you are. You will see your good qualities and characteristics. Can’t fill in the blanks? You may need some help. Ask family and friends to describe what they enjoy or love about you. You can include physical characteristics such as height, color of hair, eyes, etc. Don’t ask why, just what. You are seeking positive attributes during this exercise. Now study your list for traits and characteristics. Are you funny? Honest? Hard working? Are you tall, skinny, curvy? Do you have big eyes? Are you always happy and joking? Can you solve problems when no one else can? Can you fix things?
When my grandchildren were young, they would go running to their Grandpa if they broke something; no matter what it was. They would not even let me or anyone else look at it. They knew he could fix it. And he generally could. Also, my husband has an innate ability to look at a construction problem and solve it. Those are a few of his God-given talents.
Once you have a good list, begin to build support/evidence for the traits, characteristics and attributes you possess. What are the positives about being tall, short, curvy, thin, a planner, a singer, a great cook, a number cruncher, a perfectionist? Begin to affirm the positive about these traits and characteristics. Google them if you don’t readily know. Talk to yourself about who you are and how wonderfully you are made; love yourself.”
Do this exercise and start speaking how great you are and how wonderful you were made. The great things you have achieved that make you who you are and the successes you’ve had.
And then you can stop comparing.,,
Once you do this, you can believe in YOU.
What does this do for you?
It fuels your own greatness, so you can FEEL success, KNOW success and BE success.
Stop the indecision, the doubt, distracting and berating yourself. "When you speak a thing, you release the possibility of it into your world." Start releasing what you want, instead of what you don't.
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